the challenge: part 3 - the long awaited…
i dont feel like writing so danielle suggested i complain about her making me do the dishes when we got home. the way she figures, i should be able to fill up an easy 150 words on that subject. most likely with words like “demanding” and “slave driver” and “nag”
but no, that only makes 50 words, so you guys are gonna get something a bit more substantial. yes friends, it is finally time for my much promised, long awaited (and long postponed) review of snakes on a plane… thru the eyes of a boeing engineer.
let’s get these mutha fuckin snakes off this mutha fuckin plane! (this quote was added to the movie after production was practially finished, JUST BECAUSE it became popular on the internet. yay internet!)
at this point i should toss a spoiler alert out there, but let’s face it. if weren’t a big enough of web comic nerd or don’t have an unhealthy samuel l jackson obsession and you didn’t see this one in the 1st week it came out, you’re not gonna go out and rent it now. unless of course this review convinces you that you can’t continue to live an existance that doesnt include the experience of having seen snakes on a plane.
where do i begin? i’m not gonna make any comments about the premise. that hundreds of venomous snakes could be incited to aggressively attack 350 some odd people on a trans pacific airplane, simply by spraying them with pheremones? i dunno. maybe that could happen. i’m not a herpetologist. that they would spring out of the toilet system in the and bite some guy on the dick, well, i have a bone to pick with that one (lavatory systems are under pressure and sealed). that a shipping container full of 10 lb snakes, let alone a 400 lb anaconda, could climb into the lighting fixtures and slip out the interior panels, yeah… i gotta take issue with that as well (i’ll explain later why). and that you could somehow get 12 people to all stand upright on the upper deck of a 747? i mean come on! that’s just preposterous! have these people ever actually BEEN on a 747?
and the list goes on…
i’ll have to finish this with the good stuff tomorrow, but the important thing is, i have already written a lot of it (beyond what you see above). see? this is why i dont write much anymore. they turn into epic diatribes.
