easier than writing by hand…

found on the inside of a sobe bottle cap

the rest of the world? well they’re fucked. especially canada.

the pepsi-cola bottling company, ladies and gentlemen! huzzah!

this is the kinda crap that made amanda leave for blogspot.  i have no idea why the belt images aren’t showing up.  i’ll have to upload them again tonight when i get home, since i dont have the files here at work. =(

sorry…

an interesting thing about the fall of the soviet union. when the baltic states broke away and then ukraine declared independence and eventually the CIS kinda faded as a world entity, suddenly, the hammer and sickle were no longer the official crest of the largest military in the world. i can only imagine what chaos must have ensued when all of a sudden, the official state stationary across two thirds of a continent had to be changed. besides just that logistical nightmare, another by product of the soviet collapse was that all of the soldiers, sailors and airmen of all these new states had to get new uniforms with new flags and new emblems. as the russian nuclear fleet rotted away at ports in the arctic, while organized crime grew bold in the power vacuum and the newly made oligarchs grew rich from government holdings acquired during the great grab, there was at least one silver lining to be found… u know, besides the fall of the evil empire and the rise of democracy in eastern europe and all that stuff. much to the delight of all us anti-establishment western types, suddenly, there was a glut of surplus soviet military uniforms and emblems to be found in flea markets across europe. you could go to any major city in germany while i was there and get everything from lenin lapel pins to fur bolchevik hats for pretty cheap prices.

my first semester in germany, even though i was rocking the marine corps high-and-tight hairstyle, i was still pushing the pop-punk, west phoenix skater sagging pants esthetic in my choice of dress. i had one of those 70’s style nylon belts with the sliding bar in the buckle and no belt holes that routinely failed to keep my pants from sliding off my ass, so when i went to visit roland in bremen, i picked up this thing.

russian belt v1.0

i wore that belt every day for the next 3 years or so, before i eventually let the poor frayed thing rest. i then moved on to the pyramid belt for the express purpose of destroying the bottom-back side of all my t-shirts by rubbing them between the belt and my backpack. mission accomplished. worked like a charm. i’m so proud, i just keep buying more t-shirts…

a few posts ago, i mentioned the recent arrival of anton and alexey in seattle. actually they’re just a couple of guys in a platoon of russian engineers that rotate thru our office every three months or so, as i believe that may be the max length boeing can get visas for them. or they just want to see their families, i’m not sure which. at any rate, these guys usually bring stacks of russian chocolate bars of all types as gifts when they come over. (i’m not entirely certain why that is actually. i guess we americans think that next to nestle’s, any european chocolate seems exotic). this time though, when anton asked me if i wanted him to bring anything over for me, i asked him to pick me up a new soviet army belt instead. i didnt really expect it would be something he would have time to look for, but lo and behold, the other day he showed up with this thing.

russian belt v2.0

i probably should have done a side-by-side photo for comparison here. maybe later. i should say this though. the pyramid belt is cool and all, but this is the kind of belt that could convince me to start tucking in my shirt (something i have sworn never to do). it’s like a big texas style cowboy beltbuckle, except instead of being a lonestar cowboy, i’d be a redstar cowboy. now all i need is a straw cowboy hat and a shirt with pearl buttons. oh and boots. and really tight boot cut jeans.

when i showed it to d, she asked why we didnt get any russian chocolate.

actually the funny thing is, both anton and alexey told me in different, unrelated conversations that this belt could also double as a weapon. when i kinda laughed and asked if that was something they taught in the army there that it was designed for that purpose, they both said, “no, we’ve seen it. police take these to soccer matches to beat down crowds.”

i could see it being a useful weapon, except for one thing. the buckle doesnt like to stay on very well. the first time you swing it, the damn thing is likely to go flying off and tag somebody else than the one you were whipping in the first place. that’s only gonna work once…

ahhhh, democracy! still, to be fair, it’s these things are hella cheaper than say, tear gas and tasers. and if russian soccer fans are anything like the ones in germany and england, well, then that kind of force might be expected by the charging spectators. hell, they might be disappointed if it were otherwise.

i said i’d update monday. i just didnt say what time. this is actually all just speculation on my part about the glut of surplus military gear. i’m sure alex will call bullshit on it for me.

because i’m lazy.  here’s my “personal statement” for my graduate school application for the masters in medical engineering program.  i dont think it’s too bad.  it’s short.  they should appreciate that.  regular updates resume monday.

—–

MME Application Personal Statement
Zane Miller, August 2006

My name is Zane Miller.  I am a mechanical engineer working at the Boeing Company in ground support equipment design where I design maintenance tooling for landing gear.  I am applying for full graduate admission to the Masters in Medical Engineering program for Autumn 2006.  I am currently planning on pursuing the coursework option, however there is the tentative possibility of finishing the thesis option under Dr. Böhringer through UWEB.

I suppose it should be relatively obvious why an engineer from aerospace would apply for a program such as this, which is so far removed from his current industry.  However, to characterize my interest in this program as simply a bid at career change would be a gross misrepresentation.  Areas of study such as Biomaterials and Tissue Engineering are topics that hold a particular personal interest for me for family reasons and human biology and medicine are fields that I have found fascinating ever since I was a nine-year-old watching episodes of Nova on PBS.  I want to broaden my knowledge of these subjects and gain exposure a different world of research.

My academic background has been extremely diverse and resulted in Bachelors of Science in Mechanical Engineering with two minors in Computer Science and German.  Some people look at my record and see someone who was without direction and could not decide on a specific path of study, but I think that it reflects my broad interests in science and engineering and the availability of classes at my undergraduate university.  When I registered for classes before my freshman year, I fully intended to have Biology as second major with Computer Engineering, but since all entry-level lectures were full, my efforts were redirected elsewhere.  Now my interests in Biology, Medicine and Engineering have come full circle with my participation in this program.

To be sure, people choose the focus of their life’s work for different reasons.  Some are looking to make money, some are looking for the technical challenge of working on the cutting edge, and some want to work to make a positive, tangible difference in other people’s lives.  My hope is that the training and scientific exposure I get from this program will position me to do all three.  Since, the last time I applied for admissions to the Bioengineering department as a graduate student, several things have happened.  In those intervening two years I bought a house, got married, and found a new job that I enjoy and look forward to going to each day.  So of course, the urgency I felt before to find more fulfilling work has been relieved to some degree.  This is a way for me to continue pursuing an advanced degree without leaving my full-time job, in a field that I find both interesting and invigorating.  That it offers me a springboard to enter the biotech or medical device industries, if the time ever comes to leave aerospace, well, that’s just a bonus.

I have thoroughly enjoyed the program thus far and would like to continue it through the last two certificate programs and finish with a masters degree. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.

i actually have a few posts in the works, but at the moment, i’m busy trying to finish up my graduate school application that’s due on friday.  in the meantime, here’s a comic by bill huang, a friend of mine from from racing and work.  i thought it was pretty funny.  there will probably be at least one more this week or next detailing his adventures trying to cut down the apple tree in his back yard.

i’m not the only one who does cartoons

seeing these kinda makes me want to start up again. 

heard this morning on save the wave mix:

“the music you used to listen to when you were too cool to even think about owning a minivan and wore lots of dark eye makeup.  you know who you are.

this is peter schilling with major tom!”

crank it.

westcoast manvan.  i’ll kill myself before i own such a thing.

from my mother:

My Loves,

As I wipe the gnats off my computer monitor, I just wanted to pass this piece of info on to both of you. I sense that it might have some cosmic meaning…altho’ what, I’m not sure….

this img was at this spot in her email

After watching 79 of the 180 episodes of Star Trek/The Next Generation. Without commercials! I thought it interesting that a Mr. Berman and a Mr. Bowman [case and my middle names] are listed as producer and director on a number of episodes.

One never knows, do one?

I love you both to the depth and breadth of the universe, the final frontier, so to speak. moi

i got this one off ang’s blog and decided to do it myself.

Your results:

You are Will Riker

Will Riker 80% James T. Kirk (Captain) 75% Chekov 75% Uhura 55% Data 54% Beverly Crusher 50% Jean-Luc Picard 50% Mr. Sulu 50% Spock 47% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 45% Deanna Troi 45% Worf 35% Geordi LaForge 35% Mr. Scott 35% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 25%

At times you are self-centered but you have many friends. You love many women, but the right woman could get you to settle down.

Click here to take the “Which Star Trek character am I?” quiz…

my mom would agree with this assessment. i gotta say, riker is pretty much my star trek alter ego. i’m all about leading away teams, getting angry at attacking aliens and wooing hotties with my jazz trombone and with my JAZZ TROMBONE, if u know what i’m saying, know what i’m sayin?? oh and the 80’s beard. i’m a little confused though about how checkov ended up at the top of the list, but i do have to agree that my similarities to geordi laforge and scotty are a bit low. i mean, i’m not black, scottish, or a miracle working engineer. when i was a kid watching these shows and dreaming of a life in the military, i definitely identified more with riker and picard than with geordi. being a leader seemed more interesting than a techy. so much for that.

monday alexey and anton showed up again from the boeing design center in moscow for a 3 month tour of duty in seattle. we were standing in line for this elliot bay lunch cruise we were going on, courtesy of mr. boeing and alexey points to anton and says, “do you know he is checking inzane dot blog dot come everyday?” apparently alexey thought my clutch fluid adventure was pretty funny.

we’re going international with this one, baby! yeah!

here ya go amigo.  this is right up your alley

media attacked for “climate porn” 

ah fug-it.  this one didnt come out the way i wanted.  prolly too private anyways.

i declare the war on caffeine over. mission accomplished! the government of caffeine can finally stand on it’s own and my troops can be brought back home secure in the fact that a democratic and free caffeine will no longer threaten my borders of lucidity and alertness with weapons of mass lethargy!  i already feel better, stronger, more alert!  i can sleep less at night now and not be tired the next morning as well.  but there have been sacrifices…  bewteen the 1-3 candy bars i’ve been eating to satiate my oral fixation and stem my cravings for coffee with sugar and milk and the precipitated drop in metabolism i’ve put on about 6 pounds since i quit caffeine.

tubby

so in response to this unprovoked attack on my freedom to be thin and buff, my next target in the war on the wasteline is sugarland!  while i would gladly wage war on sugar land, tx, i’ll begin with limited warfare against the vending machine in the kitchen.  i’m still trying to figure out exactly how i’m going to do this, but my first step will be to stop eating any food where the first ingredient on the list is either corn syrup, high-fructose corn syrup, or sugar.  we’ll see where it goes from there.

sugar land is home of tom delay, just in case you didnt catch that one

of course, as i drop sugar from my diet, i plan to initially suppliment it with plenty of salt, grease, and oils.  i am an american after all.  i need lots of oil.  i can’t wait for the war on sugar to be over, so i can declare war on the land of oil.  i feel left out.